Family Matters

 I am pretty sure that my rule of thumb has started to be, if you can't think of a way to start your blog article...start it with a song. So here we go, Thomas Rhett's song Die a Happy Man  go listen to it and look for aspects of the song that describe intimacy.  Okay, you're back! So what did you find? Well the song starts off with the saying "Baby, last night was hands down, one of the best nights I've had no doubt," some of us may put this in the context of sexual intimacy, but there are so many more ways to be intimate rather than just sexually, so if that was all you found, go look again.  Okay you're back again, lets go over some other ways that he describes simple intimacy in the song. "we danced in the dark under September stars in the pourin' rain" " if all I got is your hand in my hand Baby, I could die a happy man" "We could stay at home, listen to the radio, Dance around the fireplace" He is intimate through hi...

Last week we talked about the Dating culture, this week we are moving on to relationships that are more exclusive in nature; relationships that we see going somewhere, relationships that we think might at the end of our lives become the new version of the Rascal Flatts song  Ellsworth Kansas  or Lee Brice's song  Love Like Crazy . Overall we are moving toward relationships that we hope will last forever. No one wants to marry just to go through the painful process of divorce a few years later (Couples are most at risk for divorce within the first 2-5 yrs, because they are making lots of adjustments). So how can we make sure that we are going into marriage the most prepared that we can possibly be? One of the best ways to prepare for disagreements that might come in marriage is to talk about them before they occur. Rather than thinking that life is going to be solely full of bliss with your new married partner, prepare by talking about your future expectations, concerns, a...

I'm going to give you two extremes: George Strait's 1998 song " I just want to dance with you " and Old Dominion's 2017 song " Hotel Key ." So what is the difference, what does it tell us? The first song's start, gives a visual image of a man being impressed by a girl and asking her to dance, the second song starts with a hookup stemming from alcohol and is all about a one night stand. It's basically the idea between new and old country. Old country for the most part talked about classy love and new country has a way of objectifying and relaying the message of instant gratification. So why does that matter, "I just listen to it because of the good beats, guitars and banjos." Music has an interesting way of reflecting our culture, and if not reflective, it predicts what future teens and young adults often think is acceptable. The reality is, in our culture today we have lost the idea of classy love; we've thrown dating and courtship ...

When I say the words tolerance, unity, and respect, what comes to mind? I bet American society was the first thing you thought of! Now you probably just rolled your eyes, laughed, or muttered “I wish” after that last statement...why? Because American society was probably one of the last things that came to mind to group with such vocabulary. We live in a society today where respect for a differing of opinions seems to be nonexistent, where tolerance seems to make people think that we must all agree regardless of moral beliefs and attitudes, and where unity seems to signify that if your opinion doesn’t line up with what’s popular then you shouldn’t state it at all; and if you do say it, prepare not to be heard but to rather be called a bigot, racist, homophobe, radicalistic, traditionalist, someone lacking in keeping up with the times etc. We are starting to live in a world ignorant of any view differing from than that which is popular, trendy, politically correct etc. So why do I c...

 When I say the word "culture" what do you think?  Often what comes to mind for me, is one of my favorite places in the world. ESPAÑA! When I think of culture I think of a place thriving with life, a place where people from all over the world had an impact on me. I think of a beautiful country where I got to live for a year and a half while learning a different language; eating foods from Africans, Brazilians, Bolivians, Spaniards. Romanians, Russians, Islanders etc. I think of a place thriving with... "culture" a place different from how I grew up. A place that was different because different behaviors were accepted, different languages were taught, different customs were practiced, and where overall the foods, traditions, holidays clothes etc. WERE ALL ....DIFFERENT!! Now all of this does in fact encompass culture, but what we often skim over, fail to miss, neglect to see; is the idea that culture can also mean FAMILY.  You might think that it's a weird concep...

     In family science, researchers look at many different theories; as my teacher put it this week, "we just aren't good at reading people's souls," so researchers use theories to explain behavior and family dynamics. In family science there is one theory that I have come to  particularly love and it is called  THE FAMILY SYSTEMS THEORY ! Now I know it sounds boring, but don't fall asleep just yet, because understanding some basic concepts from this theory might be able to help you in some small way; and if not, it could at least help you strike up a conversation.  When I think of theory, I normally think of something abstract, and that is kind of true, but let me help you relate the idea really quick. Who has family rules, family roles, family boundaries, family goals etc.? If you do, and most families, functional and dysfunctional, do; then you have experienced the family systems theory.  Now part of this blog is to inform you, but another part...

"You do what's best for you", "be yourself", "I need to jump start my career before I start my family." These and other phrases are all phrases we have heard at one point or another; and while we understand them, and see the rationale behind them, it can lead us to wonder if our societies are starting to become more focused on the concept of me over we. Ok... so what, big deal, why does it matter? Would a society focused on the individual really hurt us? The answer is yes it would, today I will give you some examples of how only being focused on what we want instead of what is best for families, has grown into some major societal trends; trends that are harming families. Today will be more of a summary and over the next few weeks we will dive further into specific topics. 1st. A society focused on the individual has led to more premarital sex; often leaving children born to such couples being raised by one parent, or in some cases leading to decisions ...