Family Work

 Sophocles once stated, "Without Labor nothing prospers." So let me translate that into family terms; without family work, the family suffers.  Let's look at the history of families really quick and see how this has played out and changed throughout history.

History of Family Work

I'm going to start from a religious text, but if you aren't religious don't worry because there is material coming for you too. The Bible starts with the story of Adam and Eve when cast out of the garden of Eden. The Bible states "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake" (Genesis 3:17). Notice how the text says FOR thy sake, meaning from a religious point of view, God meant for work to be a blessing from the beginning, and because God made family as the central unit of society, it means that the cursed ground was meant to be not just for Adam's sake, but for his whole family's sake. From the time of Eden, families began working together and God meant for that work to be a bonding agent and a true blessing.

Keep going through the centuries and you'll find that in colonial times families worked to till the ground together, build their own homes, canoes, care for the sick and diseased, hunt etc. In fact John Smith a colonial governor even said "He that will not work shall not eat." Move on and continuing through the centuries families grew their own crops, raised their own chickens, cows, horses etc. 

And What did all of this mean?

 It meant that children and spouses were constantly working alongside their families. Children worked the fields with their fathers; and learned valuable skills in the home such as cooking, cleaning, etc. with their mothers. Although the children might not have considered it "fun" work, they had lots of quality time alongside their parents and their siblings. 

Now where did this start changing?

In the 1700-1800's the Industrial Revolution began to take place. Families began moving from their farms in the countryside to tenements in the cities; and a land that used to be characterized with agricultural farms and economies was moving to become a society with machines that promised a new and more convenient way of life. A life that was free from the "burden" of domestic labors as society put it. (If you are religious, notice the contrast here from what God said and what society is saying...burden vs. "for thy sake").

Now the questions we must take the time to ask ourselves are; "What did convenience change? What did we lose as life became powered by machines? What changed as we moved from our farms to the cities?"

One of the major changes and losses we experienced was that instead of Dad working with the family Dad was now working in the factory. We lost the opportunity to have Dads with us throughout the majority of the day.

"By the turn of the century, many fathers began to earn a living away from the farm and the household. Thus, they no longer worked side by side with their children. Where a son once forged ties with his father as he was taught how to run the farm or the family business, now he could follow his father’s example only by distancing himself from the daily work of the household, eventually leaving home to do his work. Historian John Demos notes:The wrenching apart of work and home-life is one of the great themes in social history. And for fathers, in particular, the consequences can hardly be overestimated. Certain key elements of pre-modern fatherhood dwindled and disappeared (e.g., father as pedagogue, father as moral overseer, father as companion). . . .Of course, Fathers had always been involved in the provisions of goods and services to their families; but before the 19th century such activity was embedded in a large matrix of domestic sharing..Now for the first time, the central activity of fatherhood was cited outside one's immediate household. Now being fully a father meant being separated from one's children for a considerable part of the working day"(Family Work).

So we lost fathers in the home as much as they were previously there; and with it sons and daughters lost the opportunity to work alongside them as much as they would have previously done. I mean how many "Bring your kids to work days" were encouraged in your childhood with your Dad's workplace? So Dad starts working outside the home, now let's keep going and see where history takes us.

Dad is working outside the home and here comes World War 2 (1939-1945). The men go to war, and what happens with the women? They move to the factories. It was a necessary aspect of life during that time period, and we are grateful that women and men stepped in to do what was needed to be done for our country.We move on and the feminist movement comes sweeping through the USA. There were 3 waves; first wave included the right to vote and own property (we love this wave), second wave was focused on anti-discrimination and equality, and the third wave kind of built off of that same concept.

Now the second and third wave during the 1960's had some great aspects, and great grounds were won for women; we are grateful that for the families who truly need it, women are now able to work because of it. However, what we also need to look at, is the fact that with the feminists' push for women in the workplace came the brutal reality that now both Mom and Dad no longer worked alongside the children at home. Let us also realize that the minute both Mom and Dad moved out of the home and into the workplace divorce rates seemed to sky rocket at the same time. Maybe this is due to the fact that Mom and Dad now had less time to work and be together. Both parents being in the workplace and divorce skyrocketing; is that an aspect of causation or correlation? I have no idea, but I find it interesting that the 1960's brings more women moving into the workfield and in the 1970's comes the passing of the "No fault Divorce Law" stating that neither spouse had to have a reason for ending the marriage other than the fact that they simply just don't get along; and our divorce rates shooting out the roof.

Divorce rates in the last 100 years

So what am I saying, what am I trying to get across? Am I saying that all of us should buy a farm, and move back to the country? No I am not. What I am saying is that as our lifestyles have changed, maybe we have lost an aspect of family that is super beneficial and even crucial to family health.

 So here we stand, let's look at society today:

Families with Children Stats

Please notice that as of 2016 over half of our families have both parents working outside of the home, and with that often comes the loss of time for children, parents, and siblings to all work together.

What can we Do?

I am not suggesting that everyone quit their jobs so they can move to the country and start farming together. What I am suggesting is that when parents come home from work, rather than sitting down to watch the tv, play a video game, take a nap, etc.; find some ways to work together as a family. It doesn't have to be everyday, but it should be a regular occurence. So here are some ideas:

• Do your dishes with your kids
• rake the leaves together
• Do laundry together
• Have them sweep the kitchen while you make dinner
• Make dinner together
• Weed the garden together
• Dig a fire pit outside together
• Wash the car together 
• have them vacuum while you dust
• Do a service project together
• Help a family move together
• clean the baseboards together etc

What are the Benefits?

There are many benefits of family work but I will give just a couple.

• When working together you have the opportunity to work toward a common goal
• Working together provides a sense of unity
• Working together gives you the opportunity to have conversations and know what is going on in each others lives
• Working together provides teaching opportunities
• Working together allows for children to learn good work ethic
• Working together helps you get to know each other
• Working together allows you to rely on each other
• Working together allows the opportunities to learn tools such as patience, dedication, cooperation, leadership, give and take, persistence in doing what isn't always fun
• Overall working together provides the opportunity to build character and learn how to contribute toward your future society.
• Working together provides shared experiences.

The other night my roommate and I were chatting before bed and somehow we got on the conversation of working with our families. I laughed as I said that often when we were watching tv shows when we were little, Dad would have us fold 10 things and during commercial we had to go put them up. As the commercial happened all of the kids would proceed to run around the house putting up their clothes in order to make it back in time for the tv show. My roommate laughed and recounted how her Dad when he couldn't think of another chore to give them would have them pick up sticks outside. Living on lots of land, with woods, she laughed as she looked back remembering how much of a pointless job it was. We sat there laughing as we remembered both the good and the pointless jobs that we did with our families as children, and the time it gave us to laugh and be with our parents and siblings all together. Although at the time, we hated it, we looked back and cracked up at the memories we have from our family work experiences.

So our discussion point for this week: What are some of your memories of family work as a child, and what opportunities are you giving your children to work with you and with their siblings? Are we failing in working together? Are we doing too many things seperate, when we can do them together?

"You get what you work for, not what you wish for." If we want good families, are we working for it, by working in them?